Marter

I hate being the one that everyone blames when they can't do something. I am asking one thing from someone and its an easy thing but they can't even do it. They keep telling me that will stop and everything, but then a few days later it comes back. I thought we had everything sorted out last night, but it looks like i only made it worse. Im really good at making everyone else's life worse.

I should just start wearing a sticker on my head in big flashy lights that says "come near me ill ruin your life"

I have been looking back at my life and seeing everything that I have done and no matter what it was it always lead to something bad and someone getting hurt. I hurt so many people that I love and it kills me to wake up everyday and remember what I did. It also doesn't help that i get reminded of it every freakin day. I can't stand this anymore. I want to just curl in a ball and cry, but i cant. I have to stay strong no matter what.

How the hell am i suppose to carry a child and bring it into this horrible life i am going to live.

I love this baby so much and it is the reason why i have been able to make it thru so much already, but im afraid im getting weak and i cant hold it together anymore.

I need a new angel to go from.

off to go see what the world brings me today.